Writing Again

Saturday, 2.16.19

This is a test to see what happens when going public! This is only a test!!!

I've thought about it for awhile now, but IDK! It might not be my cup of tea. I know there will be things I write about where people will be like who cares? Then there will be others that will question my sanity and tell me to get well!!!  There will be those that will tell me I really shouldn't put myself out there like that!!! But who knows? Maybe there will be someone out there that might be grateful! Maybe they'll be able to relate and not feel so alone the way I always do!

We will see!!!

DJ


#patience #trying #negative #testing #startingnew #starting #new

28.9

NO GUESSES THIS WEEK....I'll be lucky if I make it in on time.

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 28.9 Topic:
“I Had Been Waiting All Day”
Bonuses: Hard (2 pts): Include the titles of 3 movies DIRECTED by Eric Weston
Evilspeak (1981)
Pressure Point (2001)
Come Out Fighting (2016)
Easy (1 pt): Mention “Xena Warrior Princess”
Picture: Alice in Oz

Alice in Oz

IDEFK I had originally had this all set up for a short-story. I was actually going to sit down on Monday and then I got the call from my new job....The wanted me to come in starting Friday. I was to work the night shift from 2:30-11 PM and repeat those shifts on Saturday and Sunday and then have Monday off.

I was supposed to give a two week notice to the Y, but that was barely a week they gave me.  I had been waiting all day....for a freaking month...to hear from them, and when I finally did, they didn't care????

It's fine though, as I decided not to evilspeak about it.  After I reach a certain pressure point in my life, I have to come out fighting.  I fight like Xena Warrior Princess.  But I also tend to turn my emotions off.  Right now, there is no feeling.

I've tried to cry over the death of my childhood friend, but truth be told, that friendship died a long time ago.  I cared just a bit when the AC broke.  I couldn't even think straight to save my life.  I just pretty much put on anything that seemed business like, and I went to work just like that.

I'm behind the desk, and yet I'm expected to cover up the tattoos on my legs.  These are old people that can barely see and hear...I seriously doubt anyone is going to ask me questions about my tats.  It's a good thing I'm wearing a watch where my wrist tattoo is...sheesh!  I found myself in another Christian-faith-based place.  Only a Jew girl can accomplish this one. Oy vey!  I can be quite the meshuganah!

So right now, my mind is in Oz....or Wonderland...It's in Diana-Town.  I need a bit of a brain break...at least until the dust settles down...or something like that! :)

DJ

~~

Days 11-20

I couldn't upload anymore for some reason...Here we go!!!

DJ

31-39

31-39...hopefully

I'll create descriptions later on...

DJ

21-30

More pictures....

They were put together on a photo grid app...and some through Photoshop

DJ

Days 1-10

Without telling you why I'm grateful....I'm going to post the pictures that were posted on FB.  My FB name is Diana Jillian and you can find my album under the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge...Picture blogs are hard, but I'm trying!

Yes, they're all in order!

DJ

Insanity Is...

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 25.9 Topic: “Insanity is. . . . “

Bonuses:

Hard (2 pts): incorporate “Hertha” Teutonic goddess of fertility

Easy (1 pts): incorporate a song lyric from ‘Radiohead’

Originally, I was going to quit writing all together.  It's not that I've lost my muse...I've just lost my will for anything in life.  I still feel like giving up, but I'm hoping that this will help me to change my mind.  I'm such an idiot when it comes to hope!

I have no guesses!

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results."
~~Albert Einstein

Hertha, the Teutonic Goddess of Fertility is similar to my name.  In Roman culture, Diana is the Goddess of the hunt, the moon, and fertility.  Artemis is equivalent in Greek lore as well.   And mention something from Radiohead.  Other than Karma Police and Creep, I know no more.

That was the original blog topic.  And for the pic, there's a picture of Brian May and Jessie J from the 2012 Olympics.  I don't have any guesses on the picture as far as themes. I never get them right anyway.

So, here I am, committing insanity.  I keep doing the same things over and over again, expecting different results.  You'd think I'd give up by now.

Hope is truly turning out to be evil.

DJ

****************************************************************

 http://dianajmusings.blogspot.com/2016/08/insanity-is.html



DJ

~~

24.9

24.9: Angelic Moments
Quote Romeo and Juliet
"Is it e'en so?  Then I defy you, stars!"

Include the words Surprise Pink
Picture:

Tied up with a dog chain, forbidden to chase my dreams, a surprise of pink colors still haunt me through my ever waking moment.  I had one chance--maybe two chances--to have those angelic moments most dream of.  But I got a high dose of the grass is always greener, and I wanted more.  I had gotten my blue surprise.  Why couldn't I have been blessed with a surprise pink?

In this world, I am meant to be a nothing.  No matter what I wish for, the Universe stops me in every way you can possibly imagine.  It takes all my strength not to...well, you know...on a daily basis.  I take on the weight of the world. I stress out too much and my blood pressure is on the rise.

My blood pressure, on the rise!  Can you imagine that? I've always had very low blood pressure.  But not anymore.  Not at least in the past four years now.  I don't know how to not stress.  I don't know how to get rid of my fat and ugliness.  Four years ago was a turning point, and now that I'm a year away from turning an age I'm not ready to be, I believe I'll never get that surprise pink dream I've always dreamed of.

It doesn't even have to be a surprise pink!  I'll settle for another blue!  I fear it may be too late for me. I dream now only of my final breath.  The day when this will all be over.  "Is it e'en so? Then I defy you, stars!"  I've tried to go with the flow of the Universe.  Every time I go against it, it never turns out right.  But then again, here I am going with the flow, and it's still not right.  I give up!

Written by ©Diana Jillian 8/2/16

**************************** 

 http://dianajmusings.blogspot.com/2016/07/249.html



DJ

~~

Lightning

This is written for me, but thanks to the prompts in Ecrits Blogophilia.....

And yes, I know I won't get any points.  To tell the truth, I don't write for points.  I write for me! :)

Via Blogophilia (I changed the colors and added a border)

I had expected you to show up
Just like white lightning appears
But as the day had drawn an end
I realized one of my biggest fears

As the thunder rolls, you would not
And my head; the visions of eternity
I know my true fate; one of solitude
Brutal truth that we're not meant to be

The rules that stated I must abide
Fictional time; never on our side

The love never had a chance to bloom
The lightning strikes our sacred place
Visions of a wedding now lay buried
Dead memories of your beautiful face

I'm drowned forever in a sea of forgotten souls
A lost song you only hear when the wind blows

6/25/16 by ©Diana Jillian

Via Google Search (I changed the colors and added a border)

Nineteen

3/21/16

I held onto nineteen
For as long as I could
Probably a lot longer
Than what I should

But nineteen had other plans
She decided to let me go
And while I plead and begged
She still gave me an answer of no

"It's time to move on and live!"
"Show them what you have to give! "
But this was something I couldn't.

A fortress of solitude
Not knowing when
And never looking back
To a world of ten

And when you stop looking
When you stop and stand still
You will feel that change
You will feel that chill!

©Diana Jillian

Never

 *Amative--Disposed to love.

When you start walking my way

I will find a way to change my day

There is nothing you can ever say

I will always find some way to hide

I can never be this image of society

A never ending value of propriety

And those days arrive with anxiety

Fighting over physical and spiritual

Think the things you do or do not

Of what can, but not worth the shot

It doesn't matter if the feelings are hot

Butterflies in the mist can linger a bit

Of the person you expect me to be

I'm a lady of values, can't you see?

In another life, I suppose that's me

But not when I want a guilt free life

You will have to find a path that's new

I can tell you I'm always loyal and true

I only deserve a life unloved and blue

For I will never be an *amative soul

I find the theory of everything in sing

Pulling upon me like a guitar string

But still, I cannot go along this thing

Because I don't trust myself enough!

Touch the frayed edges of the rope

finding within, there's only the cope

While there is life, there is hope

My hope is already dead and gone

Myself; I am the only one to blame

Hush, hush because I know this game

Came falling down like a hurricane

But I will reason and wash it away

©Diana Jillian 2/18/16

At Land's End

Hi!

At lands end, we'll all play in the ocean
Kiss the sunlight, and sing to the sky
"Why can't we be friends?"
Because it's not something I understand

Our bones and blood are the same
We feel, think and breathe
So why is this an issue at all?
Why can't we all just be

Death arrives, but it's never final
We fly along side of the ocean
Till we reach our new destination
A new beginning to repeat it all

But we have the chance to change
We can change it all now
By learning from our history
Instead of not listening and repeating

At lands end, we'll all play in the ocean
Kiss the sunlight, and sing to the sky
It will be sung in a different tone
Forever to know, we're never alone

By ©Diana Jillian  7/19/15

--DJ

Travelling Blues

Travelling Blues


And so there is a story that speaks of a true tale
As the saying goes, “There’s no cure like travel.”
The only travel I seek, is a chance for a do-over
So I can be together; so I won’t be a complete ravel

But I do not wish for a do-over, I wish just for over
As I know this is not my life, It wasn't meant for me
When I do come across a set of crows, I can only hope
They are as good to me in such a way I could never be

Source Unknown

What if I ever stopped to even look for that bridge?
Should I cross that bridge once it has been found?
And if I see it, should I walk over it, or turn and run?
Or get myself a lighter and burn it down to the ground

What am I afraid of? What the hell am I afraid of?
And as darkness falls, who will be the last to fall?
I would be the one. First to fall; last to rise and see
The game is at stake, but I’d be the first to lose it all

Written by ©Diana Jillian 6/14/15, Sunday

Versatile

VERSATILE

Versatile is not my thing, although it can be
Every where I turn, I can't catch a break
Running away seems like fun, and then I realize
Sometimes you can't run away from your problems
And also the possibility that I am an grown up
Time is always a funny love/hate relationship
In a universe full of so much wonder undiscovered
Let us learn from other lessons instead of repeats
Every thing does turn out alright in the end, I believe.

©Diana Jillian