How I Spent My Summer: And Other Stories

In your blog, please add a little introductory blurb about yourself and what you did this summer. ALSO - please post a REAL picture of yourself (PG only, no memes, and it must clearly be of YOU) and what you did over the summer with your introduction!! An extra point will be awarded to each participant who does so. And by doing so -- you will receive a WILDCARD BONUS CARD!!! This WILDCARD BONUS CARD will allow you to substitute ONE of Martien’s bonuses with ONE of YOUR OWN bonuses. Note that this is a ONE TIME ONLY offer during the course of Season 3 in Year 9! THAT’S RIGHT - so when there is ONE bonus suggestion (can be either the hard OR the easy bonus, not both) that is really stumping you - you can trade in your WILDCARD bonus and use one of your own making for that particular week. WOO HOO!

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 27.9 - How I Spent My Summer...And Other Stories

Bonuses: Hard (2 points): Mention a blurb in your blurb

Easy (1 point): Mention something you did over the summer

The House of Martien has provided all three pictures, all you need to do is guess the secret picture phrase for each. (SEE BELOW FOR DETAILS)

PICTURE PHRASE GUESSES - 20 guesses TOTAL.... meaning your 20 guesses should be divided between the 3 pictures above, NOT 20 guesses for each picture!!! REPEAT: You are only allowed a total of 20 for the 3 pictures. Please be sure to list which guesses are for which picture (ie - Picture 1 Guesses: xxx, xxx Picture 2 Guesses: xxx, xxx, xxx Picture 3 Guesses: xxx, xxx etc....) Do not simply list 20 guesses without indication of which guess for which picture. Failure to list your guesses correctly will make an impact on your points earned.

Alright!  Here are some pictures of me...Yes, this is me!  I dye my hair frequently, so don't get used to this hair color! :)

That last bit shows a bit of my PPG memorabilia...I might have a slight obsession! :)

Anyway...

My name is Diana (pronounced Dy-Anna, though I'll accept Dee-Anna).  My middle name is Jillian.  I don't like taking pictures.  As you can see, these pics were the results of me not liking the original, and then finally giving up on trying to post a decent picture of me.

There isn't much to say. I'm in the same boat as many of you. I'm a struggling artist who has disguised herself as a person that works in an office.  Secretly I'm a famous writer...in my dreams.  Anyway.

It would sound a lot funnier if I did a video blog...which I will...eventually.  I'm just not ready to go back down that route for the time being.

I feel like I'm writing for the first day of English class in school again by writing about what I did over the summer.  Truth be told, living in Southwest Florida, every day pretty much feels like summer.  The weather doesn't really change for us.  Our first autumn day is in February for crying out loud.

My summer was pretty depressing, and so I decided to join Jonathan Harvey on his quest for 365 days of finding something to be grateful for.  I decided to start my 365 Day Gratitude Challenge on July 1st--when ironically I started my wellness challenge to get fit--and I decided to show it with pictures.  Today will be day 53, and I'm pretty impressed I've gotten that far! :)

I've not gone far weight wise, but I have discovered I've lost four actual pounds that have nothing to do with water weight, so that's a plus!

And other than a merger happening with my job, losing hours, losing titled position, and my birthday coming up on Saturday, that was pretty much all that happened over the summer so far.  You can always check in on my Gratitude Challenges on Facebook!  I pretty much just post the pics on Instagram and on WordPress, I post whenever I can remember to hop on the computer to do something.

This is my blurb within a blurb.  I hope you enjoyed it!

Due to losing a childhood friend I once considered a sister I never had over the weekend, I cannot even begin to gather my thoughts for guesses.  Sorry in advance. 

This piece was written for Blogophilia by ©Diana Jillian 8/22/16, Monday.

***

DJ

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Days 11-20

I couldn't upload anymore for some reason...Here we go!!!

DJ

31-39

31-39...hopefully

I'll create descriptions later on...

DJ

21-30

More pictures....

They were put together on a photo grid app...and some through Photoshop

DJ

Days 1-10

Without telling you why I'm grateful....I'm going to post the pictures that were posted on FB.  My FB name is Diana Jillian and you can find my album under the 365 Day Gratitude Challenge...Picture blogs are hard, but I'm trying!

Yes, they're all in order!

DJ

Some Old Stuff

I'm looking at my USB and discovered I put a bunch of old poems I once had in a notebook, onto the computer.  I did not think I had my USB stick that long, but this could have very well came from this desktop computer I once had.

DJ


You’re just a stranger in the windy shadows to me
 I wish I had never met you
Can’t you let me be?
Then I wouldn’t be so sad
Why did you make it so complicated?
Why did you leave me?
These conversations are pointless
Why did you hurt me?
You treat everything like a joke
When I’m trying to be serious
If you think I’ll go back to you
Then you must be delirious

***

Sunday 11/1/98
Nicole

Sometimes I feel like I’ll never be sane
Like I’ll never be whole
Like I’ll always be the blame
You were my friend but now you’re my foe.
You were never my friend
Why do you hate me so?
I thought I could trust you
I thought that you cared
But when it came down to me
Your judgment was impaired
It seems like every time
I meet a new guy or a friend
They seem to stab me in the back
And tell me the end
Now I know I know I’m sane
I know I’m whole
I know I’m not the blame
Because you were telling jealous lies
And did nothing but despise
Now I know you were never my friend
And I’m telling you the end Foe friend

***

Today I was sad
But now I am glad
That I broke free
From all the pain you caused me
 You were nothing but trouble
You hop skipped on the double
You were free to roam
While I was forced to stay home
 You ran all around And f*cked every girl in town
I was nothing but your little toy
Taking care of our baby boy
 Now we are apart
And I feel in my heart
That I will be better
And live my life happily ever after

***

 All my pain and suffering in gone
I finally know where I belong
I took a drive in my car
 To figure out just how far
 I had to figure out what was going on
I now know where I belong
All my pain and suffering is now gone
I took a drive in my car
To figure out just how far

***

I was going to put up with
All of your bullsh*t
But then it hit
Me that you’re not worth it
So why bother?
I quit
There are plenty of guys out in this world
That would take a chance with this girl
Who will accept me for who I am
And no matter what I do
He’ll still be my man

***

Monday 1/26/98

Life is too short
You must go on to face the hurt
To find a new one that might
Cause you pain
You have nothing to lose
You have everything to gain
That’s the way things go in life
Don’t ask me why
All you have to do
Is just give life a try

***

 9/22/98

You were the biggest loser that I ever met
You were the only one that I couldn’t get
You were the most confusing lover I ever had
Your confusion f*cked me up and made me sad
Then you left the way like a shadow would at nightfall
But unlike a shadow, you hide from all
Oh well! F*ck it!
Don’t need you
Go find someone else
Make them sad and blue

***

Tuesday 12/8/98

I’m getting my life together
I’m proud of what I’ve done
I can finally feel some freedom in my accomplishments
Let’s see how far this goes
How far it will continue
I’ve had little encouragement along the way
But that’s OK
Because I’m doing it all on my own
In my accomplishments I finally found some freedom
I’m proud of what I’ve done
I’m getting my life together.

***

Sunday 2/7/99

I look like a kid
I look like my mom
But who am I?
What am I about?
I have my mom's eyes
I have my son’s inspiration
Who am I?
What am I about?
I have my fathers’ likes and dislikes
My brothers’ comments
My friends bravery and positive attitude
And I have my grandma's good wisdom
Who am I?
What am I all about?

***

7-7-99

Confusion has already sunk in for me
I don’t know what I’ll be doing
Or where I’ll be!
For one to be set off their course
Is just as easy as falling off their bike
Or horse
My thoughts have meanings
To all of my feelings
You can laugh and mock at the things I say and do
But I will be the one friend
Who will always be dear and true

***

Insanity Is...

Ecrits Blogophilia Week 25.9 Topic: “Insanity is. . . . “

Bonuses:

Hard (2 pts): incorporate “Hertha” Teutonic goddess of fertility

Easy (1 pts): incorporate a song lyric from ‘Radiohead’

Originally, I was going to quit writing all together.  It's not that I've lost my muse...I've just lost my will for anything in life.  I still feel like giving up, but I'm hoping that this will help me to change my mind.  I'm such an idiot when it comes to hope!

I have no guesses!

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results."
~~Albert Einstein

Hertha, the Teutonic Goddess of Fertility is similar to my name.  In Roman culture, Diana is the Goddess of the hunt, the moon, and fertility.  Artemis is equivalent in Greek lore as well.   And mention something from Radiohead.  Other than Karma Police and Creep, I know no more.

That was the original blog topic.  And for the pic, there's a picture of Brian May and Jessie J from the 2012 Olympics.  I don't have any guesses on the picture as far as themes. I never get them right anyway.

So, here I am, committing insanity.  I keep doing the same things over and over again, expecting different results.  You'd think I'd give up by now.

Hope is truly turning out to be evil.

DJ

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 http://dianajmusings.blogspot.com/2016/08/insanity-is.html



DJ

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24.9

24.9: Angelic Moments
Quote Romeo and Juliet
"Is it e'en so?  Then I defy you, stars!"

Include the words Surprise Pink
Picture:

Tied up with a dog chain, forbidden to chase my dreams, a surprise of pink colors still haunt me through my ever waking moment.  I had one chance--maybe two chances--to have those angelic moments most dream of.  But I got a high dose of the grass is always greener, and I wanted more.  I had gotten my blue surprise.  Why couldn't I have been blessed with a surprise pink?

In this world, I am meant to be a nothing.  No matter what I wish for, the Universe stops me in every way you can possibly imagine.  It takes all my strength not to...well, you know...on a daily basis.  I take on the weight of the world. I stress out too much and my blood pressure is on the rise.

My blood pressure, on the rise!  Can you imagine that? I've always had very low blood pressure.  But not anymore.  Not at least in the past four years now.  I don't know how to not stress.  I don't know how to get rid of my fat and ugliness.  Four years ago was a turning point, and now that I'm a year away from turning an age I'm not ready to be, I believe I'll never get that surprise pink dream I've always dreamed of.

It doesn't even have to be a surprise pink!  I'll settle for another blue!  I fear it may be too late for me. I dream now only of my final breath.  The day when this will all be over.  "Is it e'en so? Then I defy you, stars!"  I've tried to go with the flow of the Universe.  Every time I go against it, it never turns out right.  But then again, here I am going with the flow, and it's still not right.  I give up!

Written by ©Diana Jillian 8/2/16

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 http://dianajmusings.blogspot.com/2016/07/249.html



DJ

~~

Lightning

This is written for me, but thanks to the prompts in Ecrits Blogophilia.....

And yes, I know I won't get any points.  To tell the truth, I don't write for points.  I write for me! :)

Via Blogophilia (I changed the colors and added a border)

I had expected you to show up
Just like white lightning appears
But as the day had drawn an end
I realized one of my biggest fears

As the thunder rolls, you would not
And my head; the visions of eternity
I know my true fate; one of solitude
Brutal truth that we're not meant to be

The rules that stated I must abide
Fictional time; never on our side

The love never had a chance to bloom
The lightning strikes our sacred place
Visions of a wedding now lay buried
Dead memories of your beautiful face

I'm drowned forever in a sea of forgotten souls
A lost song you only hear when the wind blows

6/25/16 by ©Diana Jillian

Via Google Search (I changed the colors and added a border)

Yes's and No's

There's all these yes's and no's
I answer, but who else knows?
I somehow answer them wrong
To the beat of a song-less song

When I go to tell someone yes
It is usually my greatest guess
Falling right into some turmoil
The touching of a snail as I coil

If I even dare to tell someone no
It would still be a guilt into a go
They tell me how wrong I can be
When I say no; if they could see

Yes is an okay word to express
When you're not feeling distress
And if you are, you should say no
It is your birthright to tell them so

Written by ©Diana Jillian

Nineteen

3/21/16

I held onto nineteen
For as long as I could
Probably a lot longer
Than what I should

But nineteen had other plans
She decided to let me go
And while I plead and begged
She still gave me an answer of no

"It's time to move on and live!"
"Show them what you have to give! "
But this was something I couldn't.

A fortress of solitude
Not knowing when
And never looking back
To a world of ten

And when you stop looking
When you stop and stand still
You will feel that change
You will feel that chill!

©Diana Jillian

Never

 *Amative--Disposed to love.

When you start walking my way

I will find a way to change my day

There is nothing you can ever say

I will always find some way to hide

I can never be this image of society

A never ending value of propriety

And those days arrive with anxiety

Fighting over physical and spiritual

Think the things you do or do not

Of what can, but not worth the shot

It doesn't matter if the feelings are hot

Butterflies in the mist can linger a bit

Of the person you expect me to be

I'm a lady of values, can't you see?

In another life, I suppose that's me

But not when I want a guilt free life

You will have to find a path that's new

I can tell you I'm always loyal and true

I only deserve a life unloved and blue

For I will never be an *amative soul

I find the theory of everything in sing

Pulling upon me like a guitar string

But still, I cannot go along this thing

Because I don't trust myself enough!

Touch the frayed edges of the rope

finding within, there's only the cope

While there is life, there is hope

My hope is already dead and gone

Myself; I am the only one to blame

Hush, hush because I know this game

Came falling down like a hurricane

But I will reason and wash it away

©Diana Jillian 2/18/16

Running

If I were to run away

Would you follow?

Would you be weak?

And leave me hollow?

Because right now

I need a lost desire

When hope leaves me

Treading through mire

Would you run after me

If I were to run and hide

Or would you release me

Wash away with the tide?

Because I need to know

Your love is strong enough

To keep me safe with you

That you'll remain tough

I need to always know

That you'll stay true

Despite any messes

I may put you through

If you can't do this for me

Please let me go and run

Let me go in that final peace

Underneath the blistering sun

©Diana Jillian 12/5/15

Battle Scars

The screams falls upon silence
She has no more left in her
Perhaps someday
But today isn't one of them

To find comfort is all for naught
For no one cares to notice her
No one cares about her feelings
Or whatever battles she has

She's left with battle scars
Something she wishes to erase
And become healed
To be like everyone else

Or at least the way they pretend
Because she doesn't know how
To play that kind of game
Maybe some day she'll learn

©DJ 11/18/15

DJ

It's Not You, It's Me

All I can say is, "It's not you, it's me."
It just simply wasn't meant to be
As I look for sales of the loans I made

I only know there's no amount of glue
That could ever fix my heart from you
But I know to never be friendly again

I've waited, I've searched, I've wondered why
I would be given false hope, and a gray sky

Whatever it was you made me believe
Was only just a plan for you to deceive

You left me to feel pain, to sit and cry
And now I have to go and say, "Goodbye!"
For what other choice was I given?

All I can say is, "It's not you, it's me."
It just simply wasn't meant to be
As I'll never get close to others again

©Diana Jillian 10/4/15




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(Poem) (Rhyme)

Gray Areas

Click Here For More Info

Far and wide across the Universe
And in the land of infinite miles
You'll find there lies a lot of gray
In between black and white tiles

Looking in a world beyond the stars
In through a world of crooked styles
You'll find between black and white
There lies a lot of gray-shaded smiles

©Diana Jillian

Still Life

Blowing in the wind
The dust that swirls around
With a broken heart
Smushed into the ground

If I told you to call me
Would you?
In a painting of still life
Forever blue

©Diana Jillian 9/15/15

At Land's End

Hi!

At lands end, we'll all play in the ocean
Kiss the sunlight, and sing to the sky
"Why can't we be friends?"
Because it's not something I understand

Our bones and blood are the same
We feel, think and breathe
So why is this an issue at all?
Why can't we all just be

Death arrives, but it's never final
We fly along side of the ocean
Till we reach our new destination
A new beginning to repeat it all

But we have the chance to change
We can change it all now
By learning from our history
Instead of not listening and repeating

At lands end, we'll all play in the ocean
Kiss the sunlight, and sing to the sky
It will be sung in a different tone
Forever to know, we're never alone

By ©Diana Jillian  7/19/15

--DJ

Weeping Angel

Fellow Whovian fans....Sadly, this post is not about the aliens called the Weeping Angels...Though one day, I hope to be able to write one! :)

--DJ





The question of a thousand dreams
Never turning to what it seems
At least not for her

She dreams her funeral will fill
Those who choose to visit at free will
But she knows differently

God has not granted access to free her of spell
By her shadow is where the dark angel fell
This world was never meant for her

She is ready; has been since being born
This soul she has is tattered and torn
Why has this dark angel not shown kindness?

Gone is what was once a good soul
Replaced with nothing but a gaping hole
She seeks freedom from this plane

Will she ever close her eyes for good?

7/2/15 by ©Diana Jillian

Travelling Blues

Travelling Blues


And so there is a story that speaks of a true tale
As the saying goes, “There’s no cure like travel.”
The only travel I seek, is a chance for a do-over
So I can be together; so I won’t be a complete ravel

But I do not wish for a do-over, I wish just for over
As I know this is not my life, It wasn't meant for me
When I do come across a set of crows, I can only hope
They are as good to me in such a way I could never be

Source Unknown

What if I ever stopped to even look for that bridge?
Should I cross that bridge once it has been found?
And if I see it, should I walk over it, or turn and run?
Or get myself a lighter and burn it down to the ground

What am I afraid of? What the hell am I afraid of?
And as darkness falls, who will be the last to fall?
I would be the one. First to fall; last to rise and see
The game is at stake, but I’d be the first to lose it all

Written by ©Diana Jillian 6/14/15, Sunday